Living as a lone wolf

It was only while drifting in a pool that I realized I had closed another chapter in my life. It’s time to write a new one. Even though this has happened several times and my bookshelf keeps growing, I still get a little nervous about starting again. The excitement of new beginnings and discoveries always accompanies this nervousness.

Lately, I haven’t been feeling like myself. Normally, I would describe this as feeling lost or losing sight of parts of myself. I’ve discovered that these feelings usually mean I’ve lost something—old ways, habits, or hobbies I used to enjoy. The difference now is how I approach this realization. In the past, I would get frustrated and try desperately to reclaim what was lost. Now, I hold space for new ways and parts of myself that will work for me in the future.

Throughout my life, I’ve done things alone. I’ve always considered myself independent and prided myself on that. What I didn’t realize was that by declaring my independence, I was manifesting it into my reality. I can’t blame myself—I didn’t know any better. Now, I’m ready to balance my energies. Being constantly in survival mode is exhausting. I’m not saying I’ll never be independent, but I do want to balance it out more. The power of manifestation is real.

Unlearning old habits is not easy. We all have our challenges. Today, during a beautiful conversation, I asked someone close to me, “How do you handle me?” Of all the possible answers, I didn’t expect the one I received:

In that moment, I realized that sometimes you don’t need to take care of yourself. Sometimes, someone else can care for you in ways you can’t manage on your own. For instance, when I feel overwhelmed and uneasy, I used to shut down and wait for the feelings to pass. Now, I know I can ask for help or let others take care of me.

This lone wolf has joined a pack of strong wolves she met on her journey.