Expectations

How often do you find yourself expecting something? It might be from the people around you, or you just anticipate certain events to happen. If your answer is rarely or never, how often do you hope or wish for something? Because if you think about it, hoping or wishing is still a form of expectation. And often, when we expect something, we end up disappointed because it doesn’t turn out as we hoped.

I used to be someone who claimed not to expect anything, yet I still ended up hurt or disappointed. Why? Because as humans, we naturally have expectations. It wasn’t until I met a wonderful person who taught me about this that my perspective changed. However, I still struggle with the expectations others have of me. It’s difficult when I feel like I’m the one disappointing them.

Expectations also extend to ourselves, and when we fail to meet them, it can be hard. Speaking from personal experience, I tend to be very hard on myself and sometimes feel like giving up.

So, how do we manage these expectations? It’s been a journey to figure this out. What works for me might not work for everyone. One valuable lesson I learned is to communicate our expectations to others. This way, they can tell us if they can meet them or not. At first, this might feel intimidating, and some people might feel pressured or offended. But explaining the reasons behind our expectations can help.

Somewhere along the line, we stopped truly communicating. Real communication involves open conversations where we ask each other questions to understand what works for both parties.

It might not seem obvious, but communication is in our nature. Just like animals, who might not speak but still communicate in their ways, we need to reconnect with this fundamental skill.

So what will be your first step?